I Am A Good American Consumer

I went on a caffeine-fueled shopping spree at my local mall, Tysons Corner. I drew this little sketch while drinking a Starbucks iced grande americano. I came into the mall wanting some things, which I found and got: fancy soap, illustration books, and mini and RCA plug connector cables. That list probably says a lot about me right there. I also found clothing in purple or orange which was left over from fall offerings and was now heavily discounted, so I bought that. I really wanted a pair of "Uggs," the very popular sheepskin boots worn by chic young ladies all over the country. This is the fashion standard for winter wear. They wear their skin-tight jeans tucked into the Uggs. I saw plenty of imitation boots for less, but for proper fashion identity it must be the original "Ugg" brand from Australia. I was willing to pay the price nevertheless. I have always wanted to be in fashion and wear visibly labeled status symbol items. But then I realized that I cannot wear skin-tight jeans, because I do not have the figure to wear anything skin-tight. Sticking my baggy jeans into Uggs would just be a waste of time and money. Instead, I use a status symbol computer (iMac) despite the fact that nothing I can load on it will read my hundreds of CorelDraw files.

I am a good American consumer and want to look like a good upscale urbanite mall shopper. My fashion options, though, seem less and less as I walk through the mall looking at clothes that I wouldn't fit into. I am now in the proper consumer position of perpetually wanting stuff that I am not able to have, while having too much stuff that I don't use. I didn't buy Uggs, either, since I already have plenty of totally un-chic but useful boots from status-negative places like Lands End, which sells durable, in fact probably immortal clothes untouched by any whisper of chicness or urbanity.